Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

My wife recently told me about a new product that could radically improve our lives.  She found it in the Solutions catalog.  This company, if you aren’t hip, provides “solutions” to life’s persistent problems.  One of their solutions is a multi-tiered fountain that circulates molten chocolate.  The problem, obviously, is that your old single-tiered choco-fountain is met with braying laughter at every dinner party, resulting in your red-faced shame.  Solution:  more tiers and less tears!


The new product is a toilet deodorizer.  It’s some sort of minty oil that you drop in the bowl before your business.  Anything that drops in there will be sealed up in the oil as it plops to its watery grave, and your bathroom will be left spearmint fresh.  I can foresee saying, “I detect a whiff of mint, a long finish, and an underlying bouquet of crap.” 


Can we get the Mythbusters to test this product?  Also, how did the inventor conduct tests?  Was it a once-daily test based on real-world situations with a control and a Mexican-food-grade sample?  Or was a pseudo-turd made, some kind of sticky stinkball that could match intestinal output in odor spread and composition?  These are the questions that keep me going.


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  1. I really have to be careful what I tell you about these days…

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