This just in! I made a portobello mushroom "burger" on Saturday, and though it looked like dessicated elephant butt, it tasted just like a hamburger. While eating it, I forgot it wasn't a hamburger, which either says bad things about Vons-brand ground beef, or good things about mushrooms. I realize I'm the last one on board the whole mushrooms-as-beef thing, but that burger was crazy good. Okay…okay. I'm calm now. Back to work.