Weekends, In Which I Fall on My Face and Use a Chainsaw

I started out my weekend with a bang.  Picture this: it’s a beautiful morning, mind-60s, and you’re out for a mountain bike ride through verdant hilly back country.  Following a meandering coyote trail you cross over a small grassy depression.  When your front wheel drops several feet through unexpectedly tall grass and stops in place, you find the bicycle hinging forward at an alarming speed.  In the fraction of a second this happens, you don’t have time to release your grip on the handlebars, in fact don’t even have time to think, “I’m falling.”  All you can think is, “I’ve just broken this fall with my face, and now I can taste several varieties of grass and groundcover.”

When I got up blood was pouring from my nose and I thought, “Well, that’s done.  A nice broken nose and not even ten minutes into my ride.”  I’d broken the visor off my helmet (always wear helmets!) and as I disentangled myself from my bike I ran through the systems check familiar to those who do this sort of thing.  Legs?  Mobile.  Arms?  Not broken.  Face?  Face?  I could check my reflection in my sunglasses and saw that while I’d scratched up my nose, forehead, and chin, my nose appeared to be facing basically forward.  Blood wiped, I continued on my ride and enjoyed a fantastic exploration through wild canyons and plains.  My nose was not broken though my neck is quite sore and it looks like I’ve been trying to French kiss a belt sander.  I’d call it a successful start to the weekend!

As the fence project enters its four-hundredth weekend, I’m reminded that work is its own reward, especially when it involves power tools.  The two gnarled cypress bushes in front of our gate have remained while everything around them has changed.  The bell tolled for them, and I did my solemn duty with the chainsaw.  Well, as solemn as you can be when you’re having fun with a chainsaw.

Before:

After:

Thus another hurdle is stumbled over, and the fence project is nearing completion.  Except, tee hee, I’ve noticed one of the gate hinge bolts sheared off and now the hinge strap is bowing out.  If I recall, Uncle F$#k-Up bought the cheapest hinge set at the hardware store.  Now he’ll have to jury-rig a solution involving a second drilled hole, a sturdier lag screw, and ultra-precision to avoid adding torsional stress on the gate.  Honestly, how hard could this be?

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3 comments
  1. At first I thought you were going to say you fell on your face while using a chainsaw. Yikes! Hope you are on the mend now after doing a face plow into the ground. No fun. Glad that you were able to enjoy the rest of your ride though.

    The yard looks great. And I adore TH’s little red maryjane shoes. Too cute.

  2. Mom said:

    Peter,
    So glad you survived the weekend!

    The front yard looks much better without the overgrown shrubs. Can’t wait to see next weekend’s progress!

    And maybe you need a buddy to go out riding with in the future….just in case…..

    Love,
    BKS

  3. Babs said:

    So where’e the picture of the face covered in tall grasses, dirt and blood? Shrubs gone look great, the grass behind the fence looks great, pruned, blooming bushes in front of the house look great and the lavender is gorgeous. It’s all coming together–as long as that gate doesn’t swing off its hinges.

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