We’ve been waiting for this moment, hoping that our daughter’s hair would finally get long enough. Like Fukushima nuclear technicians, we’ve watched Child Harbat’s ever-expanding hair in the hopes of some possibility for containment. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce we have partial containment. While not a complete or foolproof method of holding back the over-the-ear-wings, feathered bangs, and straight-from-bed troll hair, we’ve nonetheless applied science and elbow grease resulting in the following solution:
Please note the subject’s expression of approval. Further developments will be reported promptly. Thank you for your attention.