Anti-Hipster Screed

In twenty years we’ll look back at Hipster fashion and attitude and regard it with the same pity and disgust with which we view the Kountry Kitchen Old West nostalgia of the 1970s, which left us with wagon wheel coffee tables and cigarette smoke-stained gingham wallpaper.  At its best, Hipster culture is a look back at late 19th and early 20th century American culture and wish for a return to the time when you rode a velocipede to the carnival to see strongmen in shorty onesies lift spherical weights without mussing their carefully waxed walrus moustaches.  At its worst it is twenty-somethings riding a fixie to the coffee shop to bang out a third-rate screenplay on a typewriter, trying to conceal a five-hundred dollar smartphone on the pocket of thrift shop vintage polyester pants, and smelling yourself to see if you’ve crossed the line between unwashed Bohemian and unwashed bag person.   I mean come ON, ironic Hipster moustaches have completely jumped the shark.  Don’t believe me?  Once kids this young have them, the fad is over, it’s gone the way of parachute pants and faux-hawks.


CH moustache


Number Two moustache1



  1. I still think she looks like Juan Valdez, not a hipster ;P

    • This explains the regular muleback deliveries of coffee beans to the house.

    • By the time he’s of moustache age facial hair will be passe and everyone will wear unitards.

  2. janella said:

    better/worse than hippeis, punks, etc? what kind of stupid were you at 20-something? relax. our kids will be just as silly as we were. let them be/smell!

  3. Anonymous said:

    AH! Numero Dos has perfected the too cool for school look. Or maybe he just pooped his pants..
    I’m in the HEART of hipster-dom in SF!!! Its killing me! I was 1 mm away from telling a patient to shave his mustache and making up some sort of medical reason because it looked SO ridiculous!! Good call on the $500 smartphone tucked in the thrift shop pants.

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