Number Two has been working on his complaining skills. You’d think this is instinctual but toddlers are able to move up to the major leagues when it comes to protest. At over 1 ½ now, Number Two is finally realizing that while quiet whining and patience may eventually get you what you want, max-volume shrieking and drama will get a more immediate reaction, good or not. Just as Child Harbat learned how to bring Kabuki-like drama to every small setback, now Number Two sounds the klaxon for maximum alert for even the smallest things. Drop a book? Shriek. You take away a meat cleaver he is waving around? Shriek. He finds a closed door where once it was open? Turn and walk the other way for five wobbly steps, pause, then drop to the ground, sob, and beat your head with your fists. Utter misery. Often this culminates starting at four in the afternoon and accelerates through dinnertime.
So, readers, do you go to pieces if not allowed to feed yourself yogurt? Do you turn into a teary blubbering mess if you are prevented from eating stale breadcrusts off the floor? Do you scream and wail if someone suggests, beg pardon sir, that you shouldn’t paw through the kitchen garbage like a raccoon? Then you might be a contestant for THE game of the year, Everything Tears!